Boring.
Not exactly the material you expect when you go out with friends on the eve of diwali holidays. Might have been okay if it was 1970 and the movie was named Ajooba and was in Hindi, but since none of that is true, its not okay.
a) Antonio Banderas is not superman. He must not jump up walls. He should not be sword fighting while balancing self on a single piece of bamboo. Also, he's not spiderman, so he should stop using his leash like one.
"Look ma, I'm a circus!"
b) As good as Catherine Zeta Jones looks, it does no justice if you clad her in costumes that make her look a couple hundred pounds. Showing more of her assets is no compensation. She looks fat and old.
"I look 80 years old and weigh a million pounds, but why don't you have a look at my cleavage first?"
c) Kids should not sword fight ruthless villians especially when they've received no training in that direction.
"I'm Zorro's son and a fan of his skills so I know everything about sword fighting, naturally. About balancing while doing so, too."
d) When an out-of-control train is heading towards you, you run AWAY from the track. It doesn't help if you're a crowd of people and you keep running in circles around the track.
e) A mask that only covers your eyes should not be able to prevent your own son from recognizing you.
"Let me see... you're about as tall as my daddy, sound exactly like him, and if it weren't for this mask that so mysteriously hides your identity, you might even look like him. Nope sir, I don't recognize you."
f) Horses don't smoke.
g) Horses don't drink. Especially when they're holding a bottle erect with their mouth and don't have a straw.
Forgive me if I get some of the facts wrong. I realise I might have fallen asleep during parts.
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