I hate forwarded emails

[Important] Before you read the following, let me advertise my other stupid blog. Its called crapzilla and it sucks. Read this post. Abusive language inside. LINK

If you are one of those people whose online time is dominated by the ritual of clicking the forward button everytime an email remotely funny hits your inbox, reading this will probably enrage you. I don't care.

I'm sure its real fun to have a list of 50 people who will silently take anything you send them with the subject usually being "FWD: This is funny". About 5 might actually read it too but that's about the same proportion as that of morons on the internet. If you think its a real good way to keep in touch with your buddies, and those who send you such mails actually think about you, you're wrong. Before you scroll 100 miles to see the actual message on the next mail you receive, which you have probably read at least thrice before, have a look at the subject line. See the 20 email addresses written there? Out of those one has been yours. That's about how much the sender cares about you. You know, typing out a mail isn't too hard.

Some fools of a higher grade usually find two or more of their email addresses in the same subject line. Its the sender's way of saying, "Just in case you missed the earlier shot of bullshit, here's double the dose. I care so much about you". This IS not a statement of prestige, idiot.

By chance if you're sane and you have certain friends belonging to the above genres, welcome to the club. And if you want to get rid of such mails (I'd personally recommend getting rid of such people) try the following cool tricks:

1. The "I love you too" method: This requires a lot of patience but is simple and controllable. Just take every damn forward mail you get and press the reply button at least ten times. If you're lucky the mails should stop coming in some time.
Beware: There are geniuses who will keep sending each of those back to you without noticing anything unordinary. My advice: don't give up. Make it 20.

2. The "infinite kisses" method: This is THE method for lazy people like me. It requires only some preliminary setting. Do the following. Set up two new email accounts. Configure them to forward each mail they receive to each other. Also configure one of them to forward each mail to your target (a.k.a friend). Now whenever he commits the mistake of sending you this, just forward that mail to one of these new IDs. Theoretically your caring buddy should now receive infinite copies of his own mail (if you can't figure out how, forget it). He's going down. You should soon receive information of his new email address.

Same methods apply for chain mails, which prove that there still exist individuals struggling with evolution.

If you want to try these on me, you're welcome. Trust me, I know how to deal with wise-asses.