Time Travel

This might even suck at sucking.

Anyhow.

Time, wierdly, never goes at the right pace. Think about it, when was the last time you had just enough time to do everything planned, and ended up with exactly no time to spare? We're inevitably, either terribly bored or horribly busy. And how many times have you wanted to go back to change something you said or did? Accept it. Time travel is one of the most awaited inventions. Second perhaps only to the teleporter, but that's another story.

We haven't been able to come up with a satisfactory time machine yet, and my engineer mind cannot permit this fact to sink in without a thought. Now I'm no quantum major, and frankly speaking I haven't even done a basic course. But who said I couldn't give a theory (theories) on time-travel? I mean, everybody's doing it. I just lack the usual background.

My theories should, as planned, suck, but they're worth a try.

Like I mentioned, time never goes at the correct pace. This is because there are instances in the universe that either stretch or compress time in different proportions. Like vacations. Exams too. A clever exploitation of such loopholes can allow man to move across time with the desired pace.

* A very famous, but untested way is to cause a tide to wait. The goal is to make it wait long enough for someone who's gonna miss it due to a traffic jam or something. Proverbial paradox should then take care of time. Taken into one's own hands, things could get messy (and wet). So summon NASA for help. They love doing meaningless things. Pretty expensive, but it'll definitely stop time for some time (let me rethink that statement). Be ready with your assignments and home works.
PS. You could also try building Rome in a day, but that's strictly a one time affair and it doesn't really stop time.

* In his prime Einstein made a hypothesis which he personally didn't care much about. And if you don't have millions of dollars to spare I really recommend his methods to manipulate time. If you want to slow down time for squeezing in pending jobs and all, all you have to do is keep your hand on a hot stove. It should instantly turn minutes into hours, and as long as your hand is up there, you can do all the work you want at 60 times the normal speed. With one hand of course.
On the other hand if you want time to go faster, for all your ageing troubles, just go and sit with a pretty girl. This time around, the hours should come down to minutes. Don't look around too much because world moving so fast can sometimes make you dizzy, and no one likes to throw up in front of a pretty girl.

"Anjul knows a lot about time." - Albert Einstein

Einstein used his pretty girl method to comment.

If you feel disappointed by the complexity of these methods, there are many other methods for time travel, some of which might involve cooking a maggi at Nescafe in 2 minutes, calling on Satan for help, not peeing for days, and so on, but I guess now you can figure them out by yourself. I'm still trying to think how to go backwards in time, maybe I'll do it by next time. Or I might figure it out, then come back in time to edit this post while its still being written.
You never know.