Control lab experiment 4

It sucks.

Seriously, if you have a choice, never attempt this. Unless you want to know what it feels like to want death, in which case you should probably take ideas from here, which guarantee you have a rocking time while you carry out the deal. The experiment, however, grants you the ability to list more than 30 reasons to die and convince about 5 people to join in. If you live through the ordeal you might be tempted to write a blog entry or hold a public interest seminar against this utter torture of human brains.

So I go attend the second laboratory session for Control Engineering, unprepared and proud of that fact. First mistake. I have been alotted experiment 4 thanks to certain angelic souls whose suggestions I innocently listen to. As I go look at the apparatus which frighteningly resembles a space shuttle console, I realize the next three hours are going to be a bit too tough. Neither I or my two partners realize the gross underestimation here.

We open the lab manual. We notice the experiment titled "Process simulation" has six parts. We close the lab manual and wait at the table for the lab assistant to get us started. Mistake number two.
The lab ass is a character in himself (no offense to animal rights organizations). He smells of beedi and spits words. Signal = Single, mind you. This was probably the happiest part of the time we spent there, laughing over his accent. On his face.

He explains us how to acquire, process and display singles.

We take the situation in our hands. We open tha lab manual again. We notice the experiment has six parts. We close it again.

We start doing something, the lab ass wasn't entirely useless afterall. The deal being, we need to take several plots for each of the six parts, all on a CRO, and get them printed as our observations. The frequency of the singles being of the order of 0.01 Hz, it takes at least 100 seconds for each of the plots to appear. That too if we're lucky enough not to screw it up the first time. We never get lucky enough.
We start getting some printouts. We have absolutely no idea why we're taking any of those, and what is to be done with/to them. The printer being as supportive as possible, takes in paper only when it wishes to, which is about once every 10 times.

About five printouts and an hour into the experiment, our professor greets us from behind. A surprise viva. Things get too messy here so I won't go on.

So, we reach a point where we have four and a half parts to complete in one hour. At the edge of sanity and consciousness we give serious thought to assaulting the professor, the lab ass, the printer and the guys behind us who have, by now finished their work. Bastards also managed a good viva.

Three hours done. Two parts left. We work in an empty lab with no professor, a lab assistants' kitty party and a printer with a sense of humour.

Three and a half hours. We have a bundle of more than 50 printed pages worth of useful readings and a bundle of 100 pages of useles stuff. But we're out of energy to pick any of those up.
We eventually do pack up our stuff. I insist on taking apart the setup and I do it with as much abuse as my body permits me at the moment, which is sadly not much.

I give the printer a stare I would only give to a mortal enemy as I leave the lab.

My first contact with the outside world after three and a half fucking hours gets me emotional and I decide the celebrate the occasion with at least three ice teas (peach).

I still have no clue what to do of those bundles.

Song: Scorpions - In Trance